22 December 2008
12 December 2008
30 November 2008
24 November 2008
22 November 2008
03 November 2008
First, there was the move...I was given notice to vacate my premise by Oct. 29th. The landlords wanted to move in their mother-in-law (besides...I was looking to buy a home anyway). I had 60 days to get my belongings somewhere other than there. Little by little I grabbed empty boxes from Office Depot and began packing up my life. I found storage for my things and made numerous trips to & from storage with my things. I'm not one to procrastinate, which is why I couldn't leave everything until it was absolutely necessary to leave (which is what Rene Redifer wanted me to do). Rene offered up her family's time, energy, and resources to help me move! It was truly a blessing! Turns out they loaded up their truck in about 40 minutes and my home was empty...
Looking for a home to buy brings us to number two...I began spending any extra time I had physically looking at potential homes that I might want to buy while still working 40+ hours a week, attending Tuesdays women's small group, Thursdays PoCo at church, Saturdays second small group, and of course church on Sundays. Found an adorable home in great condition, put an offer on it and still waiting to hear more from the bank about it. Right now, I am the back-up offer! Someone else has put an offer on the table (higher than the comps in the area) but the bank hasn't accepted anything just yet (it's a "short-sale"). Not to mention, the owners are still living there - probably until the last possible moment they can?
And thirdly, but crazily and most importantly, my job will soon fade away...Office Depot will no longer be aboard Camp Pendleton. Halloween was the last day that we were able to sell our merchandise! We stayed until 10ish that night to begin the inventory process. [It's not like there were any parties going on that night!] *sarcasm* And returned at 7 the next morning for re-counts. That took approx. 3 hours. After re-counts it was time to clear the shelves - make way for the new vendor to bring in their product! After me and my crew busted our humps...no really I think mine's broken!...I took them out for lunch/dinner. We didn't even stop until the shelves were empty! I am very proud of the work we all did and how long it took us to do it! Now comes shipping the merchandise out...
Today was the first day of that process. Everyone but me was in the back getting merchandise together for transfers while I was in the office keying in all the adjustments from the inventory. It took me all day...not figuratively, literally - all 8 working hours to key them in! Now here comes some complaining (look out)...my back is sore, the muscles around my shoulders are extremely tight! I need a massage :-) Okay, I'm done (for now)...
In all this "madness" I am at peace! God has poured out His peace and comfort on me! AND I FEEL IT!!! Each day is new and an experience I probably won't ever have again. But, it didn't start off that way...I had 4 days of tears before I began to feel His presence. I didn't have any answers beyond my current state! Who needs answers??? God knows how He's going to provide for my needs. He knows what will happen next. All I can do is finish what I started. Go to work each day, do my job (try not to get irritated or frustrated...I am only human), give God the glory He's due. And do it all again the next day! That's how I am trying to live through this trial and will try to live out the rest of my days.
The verse Jeremiah 29:11 is particularly relevant to what I am going through and I will cling to it knowing what God is asking me to do.
Some of the more positive notes for October have been...I'm getting my full deposit back (for the apartment I was renting). I'll be getting a severance package from Office Depot when I leave. I've moved in with my mom (which will save me more money than having to rent an entire apartment by myself). She's got a of couple dogs ("my brothers" as she likes to refer to them as...) which are good for my mental state. I'm surrounded by friends who not only love me, but pray for me! I'm looking at buying an Apple laptop sometime this month (my PC is so ancient) and I'll be able to take (daily) photo's like Timmery *snicker-snicker*. Life's looking up! It's all about looking up isn't it? Looking to God in every circumstance. Whether you perceive it as good or bad!
07 October 2008
Not only is work crazy, but home life is too...I need to start packing up my earthly possessions...find a storage facility to house them all, and start turning off those things that are in my name (Internet and such). As the deadline approaches to move out, I realize I've done nothing to prepare for this day...I thought the transition would be easy. I was going to buy a home and all my stuff would move in there. Boy, God has other plans for me right now...
"...plans to prosper and not to harm..." Jeremiah 29:11
I need to rest and find comfort in this passage of Scripture...
God sent me His comfort by way of friends...Timmery was there and prayed for me as I let the uncertainty of my situation escape through my tears. Human touch is reassuring and helps alleviate the loneliness that accompanies me during times like this. I also received a "random" text from Lissa. God put it in her heart to reach out to me (when she didn't know how I was feeling) and offered words of encouragement. I'm thankful she was obedient to God's prompting--I felt His presence in all that was happening.
God does reach out when we're hurting! He cares about me and my problems. Even though it's not world hunger, it's not abuse, it's not war, it's not death...it's little 'ole me and my weaknesses, but God cares about every aspect of my life. I'm not alone, God is with me every step of the way. Which way? I don't know, but He will guide me if I'm obedient and let Him...even when I'm not obedient...He's stronger than my stubbornness!
My heart's prayer is that I am obedient and faithful to His ways and not fight for my own selfish ways...
27 September 2008
Are we willing to risk our own lives for God's reputation?
Do we stand for God when people around us are telling us to either run and hide from our Goliath? Or do we prayerfully consult God and walk sometimes blindly, but faithfully to what He calls us to do?
There are times in my life that both situations have occurred. It's the times that I walk blindly, yet faithfully to what God's prompting, that I felt the most satisfied in life. Don't get me wrong...these times have been scary, because I began to wonder,
"How I can do these things? I'm not talented enough. I don't even know how to do that. What if my efforts are rejected?",
but God has comforted me and reminded me that what I do is not based on my own aptitudes or skills, it's another opportunity (as Max Lucado says) "...for God to show off!"
So I a pose the questions...
What's your Goliath? How can God make your giant(s) fall?
Some of my past giants include: a struggling marriage, a miscarriage, and depression. I ran so far away from my marriage that it ended in divorce, but not before I tried to end my life. Never once did I consult God to heal me from my emotional scars, or depression, or to heal my marriage. God's grace and healing has been there even when I didn't ask Him for it. He has turned my selfish choices into something I have learned to value because I have been healed... for His use of me to help others is just beginning!
The Goliath in my life right now is determining where I will be living by the end of October. It may sound small, but I need to be out of my place by Oct. 29th. And I don't have anything lined up! I'm looking to buy a home/condo in Escondido. Most escrows last 30 days (that's what I hear). And I've got nothing! I saw a real charmer of a home yesterday, but it's a "short-sale"! Meaning: the bank doesn't have to accept my offer, they can hold out for what they consider the "best" offer. Short-sales can take months! I know God can open doors! He's fully capable of making the impossible a reality! I prayerfully consult Him to open up a door, even if it's not this one...and I walk in faith that He will provide something for me!
So what is your Goliath? How can God bring you victory if you just let Him?
18 September 2008
Disclosure: if you need to see poetry rhyme...sorry, not my style!
11 September 2008
It's crazy to think of the changes that she's gone through (or currently going through) all within the last year...
- Quit her job (even the one where she worked for me)
- Attends seminary (a ridiculous distance away)
- Training to be a mentor (which just began)
- Under a chiropractor's care - once again - for an old injury
- Moved once and will soon move again (at the end of SEP)
Some accomplishments include:
- Has 1 completion of ministry at church
- Passed her first semester at school (with grades I'm envious about)
- Completed lay counselling at church
- Has her own blog (and now Facebook account)
- Has a texting plan for her cell phone (which I must say is AWESOME!)
I'm sure I'm missing some accomplishments...fill me in (anyone) and I can update!God has given her another year of wisdom and life experience that will undoubtedly prepare her for her future! I can't wait to be a part of the next year to come...What will God reveal and/or teach her in this next year? What will He reveal or teach you? and me?
Have a GREAT birthday Timmery...maybe I'll be able to post some pictures of the fun we'll be having?
08 September 2008
If you've read my previous entry, you know I'm looking for a new place to live...maybe I'll get a pet too. Thinking cat though...they are more independent and self-sufficient. I wouldn't feel too bad leaving them for when I go to work and then again for either small group and POCO get-togethers during the week! Dogs just need more attention!
23 August 2008
"Before what?" you might ask...Well, before I gave any thought to buying my own home. It's been no surprise that I have been trying to move back to Escondido. I've been looking for a small home or maybe a townhome/duplex to rent with Timmery, but nothing's come of our search. We wanted to stay away from apartment life! It can be real noisy at times and busier than what we were looking for.
It's incredible how much the price of homes for sale have dropped, but don't get me wrong, buying is still expensive! I guess now is a GREAT time if you're a buyer, not so much if you're the seller! So today I drove around Escondido armed with many property listings my aunt sent me via email (she's a real estate agent if anyone is interested?). I was able to cross many off my list... some homes were in "sketchy" neighborhoods, some were just sketchy. I also found a few not on my list, just by driving around. Of course none of those have any $$$$ listed so I can even consider "Could this be the one?" I made a call on one. Left a voicemail with the promise of an agent returning my call quickly. That was 10AM, I still haven't received a call back (it's 7PM now).
Well, I'm more excited than ever before...that this could be a reality for me! Never in a million years did I think I would be considering buying a home. And all on my own! This IS a crazy notion that I am trying process. This is such a blessing, to even consider the reality of home buying! God is such a wonderful God! Hope is more present in my life now than ever before! Through and with God...ALL things are possible!
02 August 2008
"It's all about relationships and simply sharing life.
What we are doing now--just doing this--and being
open and available to others around us. My church is
all about people and life is all about relationships."
"Each relationship between two persons is absolutely unique.
That is why you cannot love two people the same. It simply is
not possible. You love each person differently because of who
they are and the uniqueness that they draw out of you. And
the more you know another, the richer the colors of that
Before I finished reading this book, I had tears slowly streaming down my cheeks...blurring my vision as I struggled to finish up the last few chapters. And, if you truly know me, you know that tears don't come easy for me....I've always fought them and counted them as a weakness for me. But I know that it is in these tears that my pain can begin to heal as I let God wipe them away. Why is it that society always wants you to stop crying by offering you a tissue? Whereas God welcomes your tears as a chance to draw you in and be your only source of comfort. Does crying make others/outsiders uncomfortable? In all honesty, when I see people that I don't really know crying, I am uneasy. But when someone whom I'm close to cries, that uneasy/uncomfortable feeling is replaced with care and concern, it touches my heart in a way that calls me into action. Although I have no clue what to do, the response instinctively turns to being available and there for them, whatever way they need it.
One theme in this book is forgiveness..
"Forgiveness is not about forgetting, Mack. It's about
letting go of another person's throat."
"Forgiveness is first for you, the forgiver, to release
you from something that will eat you alive; that will
destroy your joy and your ability to love fully and openly."
"...you may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times
the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less
and each day after, until one day you will realize that you
have forgiven completely."
Without forgiveness, you truly can't move toward God wholly and completely...whatever your situation. Forgivess is no easy task, but without it, you still grasp for control over your life versus giving back to God the control He rightfully desires as our Creator. One of my biggest obstacles was finding the ability to forgive my ex-husband for how our marriage ended (not to mention forgiving myself for my role as well). It wasn't of my own power that I was able to do so...I felt Him nudging me toward the need to forgive and during much prayer along with the help of email, I told him so. Such a burden was lifted from my shoulders and I didn't feel trapped and constricted anymore by that which held me down. My family didn't understand it when I told them what I did. Some didn't think it was wise to open up any form of communication with my ex...what they didn't fully understand was - the lines of communication weren't opened up with my ex, they were opened up with God.
23 July 2008
14 July 2008
Somethings never change...Clyde and Seamore (the walrus and sea lion show) remained the same, only the outfits and performers have changed! New show - Pets Rule, was fun! They had pets (dogs, cats, pigs, birds, ducks...am I missing anything?) perform a variety of tricks. What was neat was that all the pets were "rescue" animals from animal shelters...see..."You can teach an old dog new tricks" - cats too! Dolphin show & Shamu...not much to change really! What I wish they would bring back is the Sparkletts Light & Water Show!!! Does anyone remember that? It was timed lighting, set to music, mixed with dancing streams of water! The 4-D show (Sesame Street) was okay, CA Adventure seemed to be better. We all got wet on the Roaring Rapids ride...sure wished it wasn't so cloudy or that the sun was beginning to set!
I tried to post a slideshow of my Sea World photos (all pictures were taken from my phone mind you)...but I can't seem to figure it out???
16 June 2008
11 June 2008
26 May 2008
Performers like Jars Of Clay, Toby Mac, and BarlowGirl were so uplifting and God-honoring, there were times my body shivered feeling God's presence consume me in the moment, blocking out any sort daily worries that typically consume my thoughts and I felt His light surround my body like a force of energy that was unstoppable! Oh...to be able to live like that 24/7...I know it will take actions on my part to do so. God is here with me and I must make choices to be there with Him at all times, giving all of myself...always!
This is my prayer: Lord allow me to never lose sight of who You are. Don't let me get caught up in my daily routines and exclude you from any aspect of my life! You are my hope! Your light shines bright on me erasing the darkness that is past. Forever do I put my hope and trust in You. You, alone, are God and I praise You...