25 October 2009

Expectations?

I recently had an epiphany about relationships and expectations (that I can thank Vicki for).  I guess I never really thought I held expectations of the people in my life, but I do.  So lately I've been thinking about what kinds of expectations I impose on the people I love (without even realizing it). 

Here's some that I've been able to recognize:

  • Spending time with me
  • Sharing life experiences - happy and sad
  • Responsiveness/acknowledgment
  • Touching base with me (if we've been out of touch)
Where did these expectations come from?  Did I grow up with them?  Do I impose them on others even more so now, that I'm not busy (employed) and I have so much time on my hands?  Am I substituting my need to be linked with others, so much so, that I'm ignoring the most important relationship I should be focusing on... the one with God?  I would love to say that I put God before my friends, but through introspection and God's revelation to me, I realize the opposite is true!  Why do I listen to the ultimate Deceiver, because it is he that wants to destroy my relationship with God?  He wants me to believe God isn't enough for me and I think I fall into the trap that people aren't enough, therefore God can't be either!  I have so much to learn and then apply about my relationship with people vs. God. (I feel like I've gone a little off topic...)

So, my current goal is to learn how to love the people I care about (and everybody else too) without expectations!   What does that mean?  I want to be able to love others without expecting anything in return... no return phone calls, texts, facebook posts, or emails.  No return notes or cards.  If I can learn to be content in knowing that I'm loving someone to the best of my abilities and expect nothing in return, my relationships will change!  That "love" that I'm speaking about can only be done with the love that God has given me and that He shows me.