10 April 2009

End of The Journey

Tonight was the last night of The Journey- this semester's grief group at church.  It was touted as an evening of celebration.  Celebration of our loved one who's passed.  We were asked to bring a picture of our loved one to have it displayed on a table in front of the room for all the men and women, who are journeying in their own trials of grief, to share.

We sat down at tables and shared a meal and a variety of desserts together then listened to the co-leader of the group sing a song.  We were then asked to share a wonderful memory of our loved one while holding on to the picture we brought.  This was an awkward moment for me... I didn't have a photo of my loved one (my unborn baby), nor did I have any memories to share.

What was I supposed to say?  "I remember that drive home from work where I needed to pull over on the side of the road and take a nap, because I couldn't stay awake any longer!  I was less than 5 minutes away from my house, but couldn't keep my eyelids open."  That's my story about being pregnant--sheer exhaustion!
That would have been way too weird, but my evening doesn't end there! Another song is sung and then we're asked to stand in line, grab a flameless candle, then speak the name of our loved one into the mic, and go sit back down.  Seems harmless enough right?  Wrong!  I never named my unborn child... I didn't know whether it was a boy or a girl. So I opted to stay in my seat while this all took place.

The evening ended with one more song and a final prayer- followed by socialization.  I decided to skip out on the socialization for fear of explanation and uneasiness.  


  1. Tiff, I know that this evening must have been incredibly difficult for you. I do however feel that you missed out on a great opportunity. Being a Christian, I know that God leads our steps and that we may never understand or know what He is showing us til sometime later, after the path is done.

    The emotions you have about this time in your life still seem very raw. I am sure that going to this group has helped you with some of your grief, but I feel that if you could have shared, maybe not in front of the group, but just letting someone know who did not know already would have relieved even more grief.

    My thought is that perhaps, there was another person who shares the same greif, but chose another to share about. Like for you, their grief is very raw and personal. If there is such a person, God will bring you together again.

    BUT, for the meantime, I'm glad you shared. It helps me to know you better.

    Hope I get to see you this week! Love you lots!

  2. I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious baby. I know that whether boy or girl, he or she is being lovingly cradled in the arms of Jesus or perhaps even in the arms of a family member that's gone on before us. Going to the meeting took great courage. I am praying for you, cousin. Love, Kathleen

  3. Baby Williams is waiting for us in heaven! How exciting it will be to meet your baby and hold him/her one day. Maybe I should just hold on to the knitted baby sweater and hat I made in memory of him/her! Considered it Baby Williams´ property until one of us has a girl and then we will pass it on. :)