Mammoth Retreat '10

I was so excited for this year's winter retreat with The Gathering... back out to Mammoth for the second year in a row (and for those that know me - I don't get excited easily, in fact that feeling is almost unrecognizable in my life). I had my bags packed the Monday before we left (and we left on Friday)! Last year I didn't really have the winter necessities (clothing & shoes) that would enhance me wanting to be in the cold and snow. But this year, I was prepared to thoroughly enjoy the cold (either buying or borrowing goodies). For the first time ever I thought to myself, I could live in a place that had snow (I'm not so sure about driving in it though)! The beauty of God's creation was so humbling and inspirational that I didn't want to leave. And due to the big snow storm coming in we had to leave a day early. I was sooooo bummed!

This year's topic for the winter retreat was FAITH (Faith That Can Move Mammoth Mountains)! The first night was about "mustard seed sized faith". Learning that

1. My faith results in obedience.
2. My faith results in trusting God's faithfulness. ==> not trusting in myself, but in a Great God
3. My faith results in eternity with God.

Faith is equated with trust and belief.

The second night I was challenged to believe "Did God Really Say...?"

The lesson brought to my mind Beth Moore's, "Believing God" Bible study I did a year ago (or so). Believing God for what He says and for who He is, not just believing in God (His existence). Even Satan believes in God and it's our sin that tells us that God isn't enough, which is what Satan is hoping for because he wants to steal our lives away from God and rob us of the fullness of life that God gives to us. Being totally honest with myself, there are areas in my life where I struggle to believe God - it's usually in 'fear-based' areas where this struggle occurs.

This year I want to get real with God and myself and break free from these fears and begin exercising more faith-based actions and decisions.

Expectations?

I recently had an epiphany about relationships and expectations (that I can thank Vicki for).  I guess I never really thought I held expectations of the people in my life, but I do.  So lately I've been thinking about what kinds of expectations I impose on the people I love (without even realizing it). 

Here's some that I've been able to recognize:

• Spending time with me
• Sharing life experiences - happy and sad
• Responsiveness/acknowledgment
• Touching base with me (if we've been out of touch)

Where did these expectations come from?  Did I grow up with them?  Do I impose them on others even more so now, that I'm not busy (employed) and I have so much time on my hands?  Am I substituting my need to be linked with others, so much so, that I'm ignoring the most important relationship I should be focusing on... the one with God?  I would love to say that I put God before my friends, but through introspection and God's revelation to me, I realize the opposite is true!  Why do I listen to the ultimate Deceiver, because it is he that wants to destroy my relationship with God?  He wants me to believe God isn't enough for me and I think I fall into the trap that people aren't enough, therefore God can't be either!  I have so much to learn and then apply about my relationship with people vs. God. (I feel like I've gone a little off topic...)

So, my current goal is to learn how to love the people I care about (and everybody else too) without expectations!   What does that mean?  I want to be able to love others without expecting anything in return... no return phone calls, texts, facebook posts, or emails.  No return notes or cards.  If I can learn to be content in knowing that I'm loving someone to the best of my abilities and expect nothing in return, my relationships will change!  That "love" that I'm speaking about can only be done with the love that God has given me and that He shows me.